Bargaining as we know it.

Category: Finance and Business. VERY serious. Entrepreneurial language - Level Max.


Welcome back to this oddly colored page, i like to call The Fence. Today we shall take our discussion to a highly unanticipated and most unnecessary facet of business transactions.

Bargaining.

Previously known as the mark of a successful trader, a tool used to get a person the maximum profit he could try to get. He could save MILLIONS if he could reduce the price he bought at for less than its CP(Cost Price), and sell it for a price more than it's SP(Sell price). It was a SKILL, something that no ordinary man possessed, something to handed down from generation to generation, like the Marwadis did, something which the Mallus never understood, and therefore were just called plain cheap, something which could not be learnt, which is why the Kannadigas dont own a decent business establishment which posts a decent/successful growth rate every quarter.


To have such a skill at your disposal was to be able to bargain with the English when they landed first at our beaches (Englishman: I come with gold, and silver and cool diamonds to buy what you have to sell. What can u offer me? Indian trader: Ka-ching! We have gobar, from which you can make gobar-gas and therefore save our planet from early extinction. We also have macchi which we caught just off the coast, normal to look at, but fried in our specially extracted refined oil , and lathered with our finest spices we offer you a dish which will leave you begging for more! and water costs 100 gold pieces only. We have wool... and so on, so forth.). Dumass East India Company people would have first finished their entire ration of water after eating two fish... their definition of spicy is beneath us. Their damn chili is sweet by our standards! And no more freshwater = lots and lotsa moola for us Indians.

They must have been pretty upset over their bad end of the bargain, and so they started taking over India, to take all that money back. Sore losers. Left us after stripping every last cowdie out of us... look who's laughing now foos! Give us more IT projects!


Sadly though, we no longer have that respect for bargaining, not us, the generation X/Y whoever. You should see my grandma, when the lemon-man brings the lemons home in the morning. She looks at it, crinkles nose and says "5 for 5". The lemon-guy goes all wide-eyed and says "You're mad! I payed 8 for 5, I have a wife, kids. Gimme 10! Think about me! I cant do this!", She tosses the lemons back at him and opens the door. He grumbles and takes the 5, gives 5. THAT'S BLOODY BRILLIANT! I decided to try that once. At my place, my usual lemon guy comes, looks at me, I crinkle nose and say "5 for 5", and he shows me the finger. Then he tells me to get my face checked, my nose looks unusually crinkly.

But I didnt give up... no no! Some other day, I went to buy sandals. Had to go for a trek, see. So one of my friends decided to good-naturedly tag along. Said he wanted to buy shoes or some such. So we go to this place, and we start looking. Pop! 2 seconds - his shoes are found and he's racing to the counter to pay and leave. Holding the plastic cover with his precious shoes, he's waiting for me to come with him. I am still not yet inside. Looking at the glass case outside, I'm all crinkly-nosed again. First there's admiration on his face, "Oh, this guy is a true connoisseur of shoes.". Twenty minutes later, he's just plain irritated. There he is, standing with a white plastic cover in one hand, looking like a fool right in the middle of the shop entrance, while I'm running around saying "No.. next... next.. yea, that one. Oh no, not good enough.". Finally I settle on something. Time for the price. He says 400 bucks. I laugh and say "You're joking! I'd most probably walk in goat-poo in that, I'm not paying 400, this is a bloody joke!" And add the crinkly nose for good effect.

It's amazing how quickly people show the finger and give you the most cynical expression.

And it's not just the shopkeeper. My friend and he are now "best friends", in sync. If actions were sound, they'd be bloody harmonizing. My friend is openly criticizing me "you dare bargain? what's wrong with you!" like I committed a frigging crime or something. "How cheap!" he goes on. Raving and ranting, on and on, for ages! At the end, I must have visited five shops with the same response. The last guy didnt show me the finger, my friend dragged me out before he could even react to that. I remember seeing a shocked face, slowly moving to rage, and a hand coming up with four fingers rolling inwards(technically, since i didn't see the final outcome, I didnt see "the finger").... then I was just turned around, and shoved out the door by my very-pissed friend. No longer good natured. Dumass.


Walked into a Nike showroom and asked how much? He said 4000. Why would anyone pay 4 grand?! He says Brand. My thoughts go back to that gay primitive cannibal . All he did was put a tick. And the clothes now go for 4k. On another he put three lines in parallel. That for 5k. AND NONE OF THEM CAN BE BARGAINED FOR. I look at the guy, crinkly nosed, unsure... "th-three.... k...?"

I dont want to talk about what came next.
I just wanted my granny there.


Bargaining... no longer the most-wanted-skill. The English might yet keep their money. Sigh!