My experiments with truth.

Take a guy.

ANYBODY who says "yabba gaaaayyyyyyyn!" already... out of my blog. OUT!

Put him in a bar.
Wot does he do?
He sits there... quiet... doing nothing. Orders a drink if he drinks. Takes out a cig if he smokes, and "ooooophh-- poof!"s it to glory. Maybe if he is a guy who's looking for some action, he'll start looking for a primary target... a chick, preferably alone and looking desolate.

But for most of the part, he sits there, doing nothing.

Take another guy.
Put him in the seat next to the first guy.
If there was someone already there, tell that guy to move. If he doesnt move, push him, shove him. This is your experiment with truth. If you want to be half as famous as Gandhi, or want to make MILLIONS by writing about your experiments, you WILL push that guy off.
Now, that you have the two guys sitting next to each other, wait patiently.

Once both of them have finishing poofing, drinking, ogling(chance of that stopping ever in the guy's life is minimal), they will turn to each other... you know that funda, two boats in the same wide ocean, meet, both get into one boat, and make the journey less horrible. You dont know the funda? Move on.. there's nothing to understand here anyway.

Let's move in a little closer shall we? To hear what it is they saying....
I am writing in English, since my local language skills are a little rusty... they screech out their bad quality. If I COULD speak in local Language (henceforth known as LocalLingo), it would be a lot more funny.

Guy 1: So, what you do?
Guy 2: I'm a --- blah! blah! ---, and you?
Guy 1: Oh.. I'm a ---blah! grumble! blah! ---. So what you do.
Guy 2: Oh, I am chilling. Cool dood i am.
Guy 1: Oh...! me also!!!
Guy 2: Cool.
Guy 1: Cool.
Guy 2: So.. what you like? I like coffee, tv, and coffee with tv.
Guy 1: Yes aa? I like sports... full major wonly. I see cricket, football, .. you know football? Man U rocks maaaan... I like F1... Ferrari... ammaaaa!! Sooper only.
Guy 2: Hmm.... ok.
Guy 1: You read book aa?
Guy 2: Alchemist man! Paulo Coelho.. sooper man he is.
Guy 1: Cool.
Guy 2: Cool.

Notice the tension here. They dont know what else to talk about. They're jobless, and trying to find common ground.

Guy 1: So.. weather, it is cool no?
Guy 2: Yeah... cool.
Guy 1: Cool.

Still struggling.
Now, you take the worst thing to happen to man, and put it in the same room as these two guys. Just a guest appearance, enough. That's all. What I am talking bout? Gurl.
What? GURL.. G-U-R-L Gurl.
Once guest appearance is over, take her out.. out! out!! We havent reached advanced stage yet.

Guy 1: Babe.
Guy 2: Boobs.

All of a sudden, they look at each other with a new found respect. They have now reached solid ground. They now know what to talk about.

Guy 1: Cute chick no?
Guy 2: Totally hot raa!!
Guy 1: You have gf?
Guy 2: No ra.. if i had, i'll be here? I be doing dichik-dichik.
Guy 1: Dancing, you like dancing?
Guy 2: Who said anything about dance ra?
Both guffaw.... Congratulations! they have both just reached a new low, and you, have partially completed your experiment. 90%.

Guy 1: She had big ones no???
Guy 2: Ya da.... ussshhuuuu.. (pronunciation of the word is slightly difficult. Need to pronounce thoduvizha to come somewhere close to know how to pronounce this.)
Guy 1: Man... I need a gf.
Guy 2: Me also.
Guy 1: Cool.
Guy 2: Cool.

And then they go their separate ways, wondering whether they found their best friend, and wondering what kind of "information" they could share so as to widen their experience. We are talking "The Digital Experience" here. If you dont know what I mean, please... leave... you're too young to be spoiled by my unfunnily nonsensical blog.

And so finishes your experiment.
Where's the truth you ask? What.. you telling me this not true?

Oh, you dont like it do you?? OHHH!!! You're a girl are you??
Yes.. yes.. calm down. Here's your experiment.

Lets skip directly to the two girls conversation shall we. We know the previous parts.
Oh, we dont... ok. Sorry. Lets go into this in detail.


Take a girl. Put her in bar. You dont like that? Ok. Put her in temple. No? Too religious? Ok... put her in simple coffee joint, whatever be the name.. Barista.... Coffee Day.. Coffee Point.. Kothas Kofeee Korner... (I am not taking sides here, no best coffee joint, no worst coffee joint, strictly in the alphabetical order)

So this girl sitting in Coffee Joint. Called CJ from now on.
What does she do.
She looks at her table.
She looks at her watch.
She reads her book.
She watches the TV on top.
If she drinks, she goes to a bar. But noooo... you dont want that... you want me to talk about COFFEE POINTS!! SO HERE!
If she smokes, 100 Rs fine medem... public place.. no smoking.
But whatever it is.... she will not make eye contact with any guy around the entire place for more than .02325212 seconds.

Take another girl. Put her right next to this one.
Watch.
Notice anything? anything?
NO? No.
Watch carefully. If you ever wanted to see clones, they're right in front of you.
They'll do the exact same thing. They're not going to do anything one bit different. They'll both look out the window.. they'll both order a single cup of some diet coffee, and sip it slowly and slowly. And, they will not look at guys.

And they'll not talk to each other.

Now you have seen what happens with two girls. Your experiment is 0% complete.

We now move to the next PHASE of the experiment.
Three or more people of same gender and sexual orientation (which is opposite to their gender) getting together.

The guys section is uncannily similar to the previous part, lets not go there.

The females on the other hand, you notice a big difference.
All of a sudden, they look at each other. They start talking. What do they talk.

Girl 1: Nice shoes.
Girl 2: Nice earrings.
Girl 3: Nice bag.
Girl 1: I got from blah!blah! discount sale.
Girl 2:: Heh.. she went to discount sale.
Girl 3: Giggles.
Girl 1: What happened?
Girl 2: Nice bag.
Girl 1: Ya no... u'r so sweet. You're my beeeeeeeeeeeeeest friend.


And so on.. yada..yada... coated with sugar. Yeah, stuff it.
The betrayal, denial, and symbiotic relationship which they have, has no comparison.
They'll get together and scheme behind each other's back, and STILL be happy and love each others company. Diabolical I tell you! Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman. And yet, women still love each other so much.

What I am trying to bring about in THIS topic, is what men like and what women like.
You know what men like, by reading this topic? Yes...? correct.. that is it.
You know what women like, by reading this topic? Yes..? NO??!??!? NO???
Exactly. No body knows what women want.

And so we complete our experiments with truth.
Oh, I forgot to say this.
HORMONES. SEX.

Right. Now this is complete.
Please trash this.

Deja-vu? Disclaimer.

Hey, didnt you just see this "Prelogue" in over three different blogs already???!?!

Wow, doesnt that mean that there is something horrible, something so dastardly and innately nonsensically inexplicably irritating about to happen....???

Andddddddddd............... HERE IT IS!!!!


I have had four or five blogs, and promptly forgotten usernames and pwds with everyone of them. And i liked the prelogue, for the simple reason that it doesnt make sense. I'd type it all over again, but when Bill Gates and Microsoft gave us the Ctrl-C Ctrl-V feature, it seems a shame not to use it. So I go gung-ho all the time trying to use the same.

So why dont i remember my usename and pwd? I forget.

What is my mission on this heeyuge blog. Confuse you? Disturb you? Make you think? Irritate you? Make you tear your hair out? Make you scream with agony? With Joy? Close the window using that tiny x on the top-right? What? What?? WHAT????

I dont know.

I dont care.

This is my blog page. MY BLOG PAGE. MY SOAPBOX. I write what i want, where i want, when i want. Take a frigging hike if you dont like it. DONT READ IT. IDC!






Now that I got myself clear, lets get down to something.


GIRLS.
Yea, what did you expect? I'm a guy.. it's my blog page... you want me to start that tirade again?

HORMONES.
What's with the "eh?" Prude, are you?

SEX.
Oh STFU!


My blog page does NOT revolve around the above topics. It simply tends to drag them into the conversation, or in this case, a monologue.

Watch out for the next one. All this so far hasnt made any sense? Do you have any idea what sense is?

Oh you do, do you??

You'll lose whatever idea you had of it.... once you enter this blog page.
Enter at your peril.

Prelogue

Once upon a time, in the real world, one man woke up at 6.35 AM. He thought he'd follow his routine as usual and got ready to get to work. He then read the newspaper for a while and had his butter and toast. He then locked up his house as an ordinary honest god fearing normal man would and walked onto the street.

Promptly a bus hit him.

This blog is not a tribute unto him.

Some other time, another man woke up at 6.35 AM. He thought he'd follow his routine as usual and got ready to go to work. He then read the newspaper for a while and had his butter and toast. He then locked up his house as an ordinary honest god fearing normal man would and walked onto the street.

He reached his office.

This blog is not a tribute to him either.

Some OTHER time, a man woke up at 6.35 AM in the morning. And he thought, life sux... people make fun of me, nobody listens to me and if i get philosophical people ignore me. So what if i wear glasses, comb my hair carefully and pour oil liberally in my head to make it stand down. I dont need to go through this, he says, and promptly as all nerds,geeks are apt to do, gets on the net. There he's a cool dude, with macho biceps and cool glasses and all chicks fall for him. But this guy is still not satisfied. So what does he do. He's got a lot of money, and he knows to earn a lot of money you need lots more money. Thinking that there are other losers like him, he decides that people need more than a soapbox on which they can preach onto others. They need a platform, and so promptly he makes the world's first blog page.

It goes. "Everybody in the world SUX!!!"


This is a tribute to him.

Millions of people go all day thinking that they cant spout their nonsense to others without being made fun of. And with good reason! They'd do the same thing!!
And so they ALL got down to blogging... and we have an opinion on everything from how Saddam Hussein's moustache is not trimmed correctly to why Pokemon are cute and upto why walking naked to the office should be allowed and why girls should have the first preference in that field.

And so, with great pride, I enter the same domain.